I don't even know if I want to add to this because it speaks for itself. It's a realistic view when you deal with a chronic illness. If I can end each day and say I tried my best, that is all that matters. Win the battles to survive the war.
At an early age, I noticed the intrusive thoughts. They came out of nowhere and given the spontaneity, my focus were on them. They were always negative and dark which played on my psyche. I can't stop them but that doesn't mean I have to believe them. I don't have to engage in them. For … Continue reading Intrusive thoughts
"When I was rediagnosed during my first hospitalization in 2005, I would never have imagined that Bipolar disorder would be on my resume - or that it would get me the job. Today I am working the most stable position I've ever had - two and a half years and a raise, and it's because … Continue reading Empowered
"I've been depressed as a child; from being bullied at school to come home towards a toxic family. I met my "love of my life" in 6th grade, understood me, listened when I felt scared all the way until sophmore year of high school when they wanted someone closer at their school. I became majorly … Continue reading Cherish
Control. I think that pretty much summed up my childhood. I learned at an early age that raw emotions weren't welcoming so I turned inward. Perfection was an unrealistic goal and I pushed to achieve it. I was very emotional and crying was thought of as a weakness. There aren't any "bad" emotions, just negative … Continue reading Control
To keep my feelings in check and not project them onto others was a struggle when I was younger. Nothing was my fault and everything was (throw in a random name). Personal responsibility came with maturity, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle. Some things are out of your control, but some are and that … Continue reading Projections
Honestly, this has only became recently true. I lived only because others wanted me to. I remember waking each day disappointed that I woke up and pushed myself to get through to the next hour. I kept busy to avoid the intrusive thoughts until I couldn't take it anymore. The will to live can be … Continue reading The will to live