“For many years I blamed myself, for many more I blamed him, I held onto my pain and fear like a shield a worthless one that offered me no protection. The doctor called it PTSD, the counsellor called it child abuse, the police called it sexual assault. I called it growing up in my family. Being me. For so long I felt I “should” be in control, “should” be able to protect myself that somehow I had failed by not doing this when I was younger from these things people had done to me. Mindfulness helped me realise that those things that happened to me are not who I am. My true essence of love & light was never extinguished. My faith had prevailed and I rise like phoenix. As I sat opposite the counsellor 17 years ago she asked me what I would become. As much as you are more I thought. With degrees in counselling now up on my wall. I’ve moved on no paperwork replaces the hurt, pain, the scars can be seen upon my body today. Yet I’ve let go. Mindfulness has allowed me Let go of who I thought I “should” be and allowed myself to simply be. To trust that my fear had served me well and now I can gently and with love let go of the need to control. Those who controlled me no longer have control of me. And best of all I’ve loosened my own grip and set myself free, my mind is my own, my body is my own, my breathe tells me so. Go within, find peace and let go.”

Much love. 

Mindful Miss Zen

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