Acknowledgement and Accountability 

​There aren’t “negative” emotions, just destructive behaviors as a result. Growth came with being taught how to acknowledge my emotions and hold myself accountable for the actions. Positive thinking made me stagnate for years because I didn’t acknowledge the feeling/thought before trying to change it. “Staying positive” helped in the moment, but I needed to learn the importance of authenticity, especially with my emotions. Being genuine with my fear, anxiety, anger, depression, etc. Acknowledging their presence. This is especially true when trying to managing cycling episodes. I’m speaking from my perspective and wanted to share if anyone felt the same way.

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  1. In recent years (on disability), I have told myself I was unable to do this and that. The fact of the matter was, it seemed to be true because I was not managing to do these things. I felt paralyzed. Other times during these years I thought it was possible that I could do anything, but reality eventually slapped me in the face and changed those notions. But I’m happy to say that I’ve arrived at the middle ground. I am more realistic about most everything. I think I’m finally thinking clearly. I’m definitely more truthful with myself and authentic. Things are starting to work out a little better.

    I’ve surely been overly generous with myself during my life when it comes to forgiving my past bad actions. Before my bipolar diagnosis it was as if I was always the victim. I suffered consequences for that notion. After my diagnosis (years after), my actions were not that often punishable, but I’ve been able to look back at the past with different eyes. Yes, I still think that when someone is VERY sick, they don’t always know what they are doing, but there were other times when I did know and just didn’t give a damn. I do give a damn now.

    • I was the same way! It’s true that mental illnesses can cause you act outside of yourself (which usually leads to the diagnosis). Thsts where the acknowledgement and accountability comes into play. I’m glad you are being authentic with yourself. It made a world of difference for me.

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