It’s interesting the ways we can choose to protect ourselves. For me it was either compulsive behaviors to manage it or dissociative episode to escape it. Both are distractions to handle the intrusive thoughts, but aren’t helpful for the long term. I used to binge to deal with stress, purge to release the guilt, and then compulsively exercise or restrict to avoid binge eating again. I used to get depressed, start to sleep more, have feelings of disconnection, and memory lapses to subconsciously not deal with reality. They were all ways to protect myself, but ended up doing more harm. Accepting that even at times when I subconsciously do this, I can recognize it to make changes.