Without a cause

One of the most frustrating things, when I started therapy, was trying to find a cause/trigger/etc. I was in my early teens, so I can understand the reason for this. This continued to frustrate me over the years especially trying to explain to people my mental illnesses or how certain episodes can just happen…no rhyme or reason.

This is very real for me with a depressive episode. My most recent one was subtle. There was no sadness, crying, or hopelessness. I was trying to rationalize the exhaustion, lack of interest and motivation when I was doing everything I needed to do. No matter what I did, I couldn’t “shake it.” That is when I accepted that I was going through a depressive episode. Nothing triggered it (maybe the season change?) specifically, but once again with Bipolar Disorder it is just a wave I have to ride out. Most will not understand this and that is fine with me. Episodes like this just remind me of how vigilant I need to be with managing my mental illnesses.

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