“I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCPD) in 2016, after struggling with it – unbeknownst to me – for years. While I was in a gnarly mixed episode during my graduate program, I did a lot of things and acted in a lot of ways that hurt people I cared about in ways I’m pretty sure I can never fully undo. But those are, surprisingly, the people who are the most likely to check in on me now, ask if I’ve taken my meds, remind me of how important it is to keep on track, ask if I’ve called my therapist, asked how my new psychiatrist is working out. Very rarely do they actually say, “I love you,” but what they are saying and doing means more. It lets me know that I’m seen and that, no matter how awful I think I am, these people – some of whom I really hurt and would have every right to walk away – think I’m worth saving.”
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