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Tag: bipolar

The inevitable

TW: death; suicide Death can be a taboo topic, but it is an inevitable one. Within the past 2 weeks, I’ve had 5 deaths impact my life. The one I really want to focus on is the first one which was a suicide. We worked together and I had only had a couple interactions with her. In all honesty, my first reaction was “I get it.” Anyone that has struggled with suicidal ideations “gets it.” Then, I became numb. That’s my defense mechanism when I’m not ready to process something… Read more The inevitable

Being uncomfortable

This is especially for the people that feel stuck in their recovery and struggling with making that “first step” towards treatment. It is ok to be uncomfortable. Treatment is going to constantly test you. You will be pushed to places that you may have buried for years. I’ve spoken before about vulnerability and I feel like that was the hardest part for me. Something as simple as accepting hard truths was an accomplishment for me in the beginning. If you are struggling at the moment, with moving forward or accepting… Read more Being uncomfortable

The aftermath

I have a friend that has schizoaffective disorder and we talked about the aftermath of an episode. Episodes include depressive, manic, mixed, psychotic, etc. You go through them at weeks (or months) and at times all you were trying to do is stabilize enough to make it through them. You survive it but now you have to deal with the aftermath. This could be the missed phone calls/emails, debt from excessive spending, or things that were just once an priority that took a backseat. My friend explained it as cleaning… Read more The aftermath

Moving on

Through years of therapy and recovery, you learn different coping techniques or skills to manage your symptoms. Over time, you saw results and they were proven effective. You remain hopeful and dependent on them. Then one day, it no longer works. You give it time, try to make it habitual, but it still doesn’t work. I’ve learned with trying to manage my mental illnesses that I have to be flexible with ongoing management. What worked before may not work later. I would love to hear your experiences and thoughts regarding… Read more Moving on

Without explanation

This mostly goes for myself, especially with self-talk and rumination associated with anxiety. When I learned how to set boundaries for myself and not overthink, I’m more productive with myself and also being there for others. For me to constantly go over this in my head, at times, leaves me “stuck” causing more issues. I’ve learned to accept my decisions and stand firm in them. Is this something you are still working on? If you have mastered this, what helped you?

Reminder

I posted this around this time last year. Reminder that your mental health is important. Do what you can to maintain it and do not feel guilty if you need space. Your first obligation will always be to yourself.

Savior

I’ve always felt like I needed to be there for people even when it sometimes was at my own expense. I’ve learned over the years how detrimental this can be to even someone without an mental illness. Learning to say “no” or accept that other’s decisions are not for me to control helped me accept that I can’t be everyone’s savior.

Find your voice

Dealing with a mental illness can make you distrust your own thoughts and others as well. You may have tried to express yourself in the past and were shut down. This is why it is so important to find your voice. You have a say in your treatment so it is important to have this trust with the professionals in your support system. You have the right to express your thoughts and feelings to others. Your voice matters and if you haven’t found it yet, I hope you do soon.