Bulimia ruled my life for many years. I was ashamed of it, but it was mine and I didn't want to let go of it. I was open about my issues with depression and anxiety as a teenager, but guarded with discussing bulimia because it was the one thing providing an temporary fix. I didn't … Continue reading NEDA Awareness Week
Tag: eating disorder
Coping with reality
It's interesting the ways we can choose to protect ourselves. For me it was either compulsive behaviors to manage it or dissociative episode to escape it. Both are distractions to handle the intrusive thoughts, but aren't helpful for the long term. I used to binge to deal with stress, purge to release the guilt, and … Continue reading Coping with reality
Validation
"An eating disorder/self harm ruled my life for far too long and I'm finally beginning to realise that my body is not a battleground; it is the most fantastic, wonderful thing I will ever be given and I need to protect it. Even though I'd never show my scars to anyone, I felt as though … Continue reading Validation
Expressing gratitude
"I've been suffering from an eating disorder for over 2 years, and it has completely stolen from me my sense of satiety, body positivity, ability to be happy when I'm not in control, and my appetite. I get sad and jealous when I see people around me that don't suffer from these things, but then … Continue reading Expressing gratitude
Surviving
Sometimes if you can lay your head down at night and survived the day, then that is enough. We all have those days and it is an accomplishment.
Addictive behaviors
It's so hard to keep this one in check. I find something that fascinates me and I try to learn everything I can about it. Sometimes to the point where it's harmful to myself (cutting out certain foods, not sleeping due to researching, etc...) Balance will always be my struggle. I get fixated and don't … Continue reading Addictive behaviors
Recovery
I don't even know if I want to add to this because it speaks for itself. It's a realistic view when you deal with a chronic illness. If I can end each day and say I tried my best, that is all that matters. Win the battles to survive the war.
Intrusive thoughts
At an early age, I noticed the intrusive thoughts. They came out of nowhere and given the spontaneity, my focus were on them. They were always negative and dark which played on my psyche. I can't stop them but that doesn't mean I have to believe them. I don't have to engage in them. For … Continue reading Intrusive thoughts
Cherish
"I've been depressed as a child; from being bullied at school to come home towards a toxic family. I met my "love of my life" in 6th grade, understood me, listened when I felt scared all the way until sophmore year of high school when they wanted someone closer at their school. I became majorly … Continue reading Cherish
Control
Control. I think that pretty much summed up my childhood. I learned at an early age that raw emotions weren't welcoming so I turned inward. Perfection was an unrealistic goal and I pushed to achieve it. I was very emotional and crying was thought of as a weakness. There aren't any "bad" emotions, just negative … Continue reading Control
Mental Illness Taught Me 