Hyperawareness in recovery

I've talked about this before but it is something I think isn't talked about enough especially in recovery. For a while, I lived in this state where I was so worried about triggering an episode that I was just fueling other maladaptive behaviors. I was so concerned about trying to avoid depression or hypomania that … Continue reading Hyperawareness in recovery

Ways to say I love you

"I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCPD) in 2016, after struggling with it - unbeknownst to me - for years. While I was in a  gnarly mixed episode during my graduate program, I did a lot of things and acted in a lot of ways that hurt people I cared about … Continue reading Ways to say I love you

Falling isn’t failing

Sometimes you have a plan and life says "let's try something else." Some things I wished for, in hindsight, I'm glad they never came to fruition. For years, I shamed myself for dropping out of graduate school. Mentally and physically, I was spiraling downward. I couldn't imagine where I would be if I continued to … Continue reading Falling isn’t failing

Potential and perception

My job offers a lot of opportunities for career and personal development. Right now, I'm taking a mini course on potential. The first week, we talked about energy and emotional potential. I want to focus on emotional potential. I've talked previously about emotional intelligence (Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Coleman is a great read) and during … Continue reading Potential and perception

Forgiveness is not mandatory

While forgiveness can lead to healing, it can also keep you stuck. When it comes to others, you can't force people to accept responsibility. You can't make someone feel regret, remorse, or empathy. Given your lack of control, you can't make someone forgive for their actions. I struggled with this a lot as a very … Continue reading Forgiveness is not mandatory

Being uncomfortable

This is especially for the people that feel stuck in their recovery and struggling with making that "first step" towards treatment. It is ok to be uncomfortable. Treatment is going to constantly test you. You will be pushed to places that you may have buried for years. I've spoken before about vulnerability and I feel … Continue reading Being uncomfortable

No excuses

"That I am responsible for treatment even if that treatment is simply working on self awareness and discipline. Mental illness has taught me that it is not an excuse; it is something to work on." Nettie was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. After 7 years of therapy, those diagnoses stemmed directly … Continue reading No excuses